ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
