You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
