that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
