i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
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