Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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