Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
She told me I should be a condom model.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Randomize
