Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Randomize
