so that wasnt chicken after all
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Randomize
