Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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