Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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