The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
