If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
