My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
i think my cat just said my name.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
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