maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Let the clothes fall where they may.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Randomize
