We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
operation harelip BJ is a go
if i died would you start the facebook group?
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Randomize
