Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
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I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
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You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
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