ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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