Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
i think i just lost a toe
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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