he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
