I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
