Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
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