Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
