BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Randomize
