Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
