Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
