Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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