Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
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