I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Randomize
