Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize