i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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