And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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