i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
