I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
