your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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