so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Randomize
