I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
