Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
