I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
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