Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
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