So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize
