On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
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