# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
