i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Randomize
