Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
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