I wannas sexs uuuuu
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
