Whoa Z and x make the same sound
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
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