once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Also, beer. Big fan.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
