You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
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