i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
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