walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
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