If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
