ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize