does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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