So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
