the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Randomize
