I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
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