Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
