Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Randomize
