Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
