My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize