i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Randomize
