Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize
