Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
