i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
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