I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
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I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
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