I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
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